Montessori at Home Archives - Page 2 of 3 - Greenspring Montessori School

Working Toward Toileting Independence

Toilet training is adult-led and on the adults’ time. Toilet learning involves the child in the learning process. This is their big work.

“Learning to use the toilet is a natural process that begins when your child’s desire to be grown up and his neurological development have reached the point where he can control his bladder and bowels. We don’t train children to use the toilet, we support them when they are ready.” (Tim Seldin, Author of How to Raise an Amazing Child: The Montessori Way to Bring Up Caring Confident Children)

Exposure: The Earlier the Better

During Infancy

Talking about toileting and using bathroom
Use correct anatomical language
Learn to recognize when infants need to “go”
Have infants sit on potty chair (or at least have one out) so that they get familiar with it

At 12 months

Get your child familiar with the tools used in toileting (like a potty chair)
Work on dressing skills – being able to get pants on and off, pulled down and up independently
Start watching for signs of readiness. Toilet learning is easiest before 24 months (when the full self-will develops).

Choice of Diapers

Disposable diapers is the most commonly used
The use of cloth diapers (if a you go that route) allows a child to experience the wetness, allowing for earlier toilet-learning
Pull-ups are not recommended – they are just like diapers and will only prolong the toilet learning process

Signs of Readiness

Interested in the toilet
Seeking privacy to go to the bathroom in his/her diaper
Will sit willing on the toilet – this should not be a battle
Will void into the toilet – becoming aware that they are emptying their bladder

Preparing the Environment

Select an area of the house that includes a bathroom. Either select a tiled area or roll up the rugs. Invite your child to help you set up the area.

Supplies needed:

Potty chair and/or potty seat adapter (attaches to the adult toilet seat)
Step stool to toilet
Step stool to sink
Liquid hand soap they can easily use
Basket of clean underwear
Basket of clean rags
Spray bottle that your child can operate independently
Timer
Basket of books, games, things to do (could be special items that can only be used when sitting on the toilet)

Preparing Your Child

When the child is able to stand, change her diaper with her standing up; she can help
Whenever you can, empty the contents of the diaper into the toilet and let the child watch you do it
Take him/her to pick out underwear
Underwear should be thin – not training pants
Tell your child ahead of time that you will be switching to underwear on __ day. Count down to this day (mark on a calendar, talk about it at dinner, etc.)
Maintain a calm, yet excited demeanor (no pressure)

Practicing

Let your child know when the big day has arrived! Enjoy lots of extra beverages to encourage practice.

Use the mantra, “We want to keep our underwear dry.”
Have your child sit on the toilet for a minute or two
Talk with him/her about the feeling of going to the bathroom. “Do you feel any urine in your bladder?

Always offer a choice!

“Would you like to sit on the potty or the toilet?”
“Would you like to select your underwear or would you like me to pick it?”

Try Using a Timer

Set the timer to remind you and your child to go and sit on the toilet
Start with setting the timer for every 20/30 minutes
As they stay drier longer, you can start stretching the time
Do not ask if they have to go – they will tell you no – they will not want to stop what they are doing in that moment
They WILL NOT tell you when they have to go!
Keep it very matter-of-fact. “It’s time to use the toilet.”

The Following Days

Keeping the schedule consistent is key
Take a potty in the trunk of the car or limit outings to 1 hour
Go to the bathroom before each trip out
Go to the bathroom immediately upon arrival
Go again before leaving
Go again immediately when arriving at home

Accidents

Continue to talk/ask about how his/her body feels -but do not hover- remember that mistakes happen and that is how they learn. They need to feel that they are in control of their bodies and this big work
Ask, “Are your underwear dry or wet?” (brings attention to this)
When your child wets or has a bowel movement in their underwear – don’t overreact! It’s best to stay calm and try not to reference it as an “accident.” Just simply state the obvious – “you wet/soiled your underwear” “now it’s time to get cleaned up.”

Celebrating Successes

When successful, describe the success. “You went to the bathroom in the toilet!” “You sat on the toilet and peed!”
Avoid using bribery like stickers or candy. Toileting is something we all do. Children do not need praise for toileting.
Celebrate victories with your child – but do not make your love conditional on success.

Suggested Schedule (Post Training)

Daytime:

Right when they get up
Right before meals
Right after meals
Right before bath
Right before bed
Before going out in car
Upon arrival at new destination

Nighttime:

Parent choice: toilet-learning happens faster when nighttime is done at the same time, but it’s also ok to focus on daytime success first before tackling overnights

Please coordinate with your child’s Guide. This process will go more smoothly when you work in partnership!

Resources

Toilet Awareness: Using Montessori Philosophy to Create a Potty Learning Routine by Sarah Moudry

Montessori from the Start: The Child at Home, From Birth to Age Three by Paula Polk Lillard & Lynn Lillard Jessen

Diaper Free Before Three by Jill M. Lecovic

Danuta Wilson, Toddler Guide and Team Leader at Greenspring Montessori School, presents on toilet learning at home the Montessori way.

Building Partnership through Family Meetings

Family meetings provide a dedicated space for open communication, allowing family members to discuss issues, make decisions together, strengthen relationships, and build a sense of unity by sharing concerns, celebrating achievements, and setting expectations, all while fostering important life skills.

Benefits of Family Meetings

For children, family meetings promote:

Critical thinking
Active listening
Brainstorming skills
Problem solving
Mutual respect
A sense of belonging and significance

For parents, family meetings:

Avoid power struggles
Avoid micromanaging
Invite children to share responsibility
Allow you to model skills you want children to learn

Keep a notebook in a central area of the home, so issues that come up during the week can be recorded in real time and then used during the family meeting.

The family meeting is optional, but choosing not to participate means missing out on problem solving, offering suggestions for family outings, and receiving weekly allowance.

Family Meeting Agenda

Give Acknowledgments
Review Old Agreements
Discuss New Issues
Make New Agreements
Review the Schedule
Do Banking
Create a Family Outing Plan

Give Acknowledgments

Each person acknowledges everyone else. Acknowledgments are different than thank-yous; they focus on something about the person’s character.

Review Old Agreements

Review last week’s agreements. How did these work? Any there any revisions needed? If so, write these down in the notebook.

Discuss New Issues

No judgement, no criticism. Everyone is on the same team, committed to finding solutions. Everyone contributes. (Parents, be careful not to brush off children’s solutions.)

Make New Agreements

What are the agreements we are going to make to support the solving of the issues? Write them in the notebook.

Review the Schedule

Discuss the schedule for the week. What activities are scheduled? Are there any special events? Resolve any logistics that need to be handled.

Do Banking

Allowance is distributed. Allowance is not tied to chores, but rather to participatioin in the family meeting. Any debts acrued over the past week are paid.

Create a Family Outing Plan

Brainstorm ideas for fun activities to do as a family.Everyone gets a voice.(Parents, establish parameters – how much time, how much money, etc.)

Tips for a Successful Family Meeting

When first starting this structure, introduce and practice just one step of the process each week. In less than two months time, your family will be ready to implement the full family meeting structure.

Encourage participation by creating a safe space where everyone can share their thoughts and feelings. Set guidelines for discussion, such as taking turns speaking without interruption.

Meet at a consistent time that works for your family; weekly or bimonthly is recommended.

Rotate responsibilities so everyone gets a turn to play the different roles. For young children, props can be used to designate each of the roles.

Facilitator (talking stick)
Recorder (notebook and pencil)
Banker (coin purse or money jar)
Time Keeper (stopwatch)

Would you like to give family meetings a try? Check out some of the resources below to help you get started!

Resources for Empowering and Partnering with your Child

Active Listening Worksheet

Empowering and Partnering with your Child Through the Adolescent Years Powerpoint

Family Meeting Album from positivediscipline.com

Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World by Kristen Welch

The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money by Ron Lieber

Duct Tape Parenting by Vick Hoefle

Whether you have a five-year-old or a fifteen-year-old, you can find easy ways to create partnerships at home. During this webinar, you will learn steps to implement structures around family meetings, active listening, and allowances – all designed to support you and your child or adolescent in your partnership at home.

Setting Up a Montessori Playroom in your Home

For children birth – age 10

Whether you have a one year old or an eight year old, you might be familiar with an explosion of toys in your home. If you are dreaming of ways to streamline your living spaces, keep your children engaged, and encourage a sense of order, take a look at these recommendations for setting up a Montessori-inspired play space.

Setting up a Montessori-inspired playroom does not require a great deal of time or expense. The goal is simply to create a space that encourages independence and concentration in your child. As your child grows, the space will need to evolve to fit their needs, but the guiding principles remain the same. Here are some key components to keep in mind:

Provide varied workspaces

The furniture in Montessori spaces is child-sized and the materials are kept on low shelves so that the child can access them independently. If you have the space at home, it’s ideal to include a child-size table and chairs, an open space allowing for movement and large floor work, and a safe cozy spot for resting or recovering from an upsetting moment. Providing your child with a space that they can navigate independently allows for them to feel empowered without the intervention of adults.

Limit choices (and rotate toys)

To help your child be successful in the space, consider reducing the number of toys available. If your child is having trouble cleaning up their toys, it could be a good sign that they are overwhelmed by the number of toys that are available. You may use a small shelving unit with two or three shelves and just a few items on each shelf. Putting out just a few toys at once, and rotating them regularly, allows your child to focus on what’s available. Also, rotating toys will rekindle your child’s interest in older toys that they haven’t seen for a while. When a toy has remained on the shelf for a whole week untouched, you know it’s time to put it away and put out something different.

This is as true for toddlers as it is for elementary-aged children! Older children may be interested in choosing what should go on the shelf and what can be stored for the time being. Older children can also help decide how many toys should be out at once and when it’s time to rotate.

Choose toys that invite purposeful play

While there is no need to fill your playroom with “academic” work, you can select toys that help your child develop in different ways.

You might think about including a variety of toys that focus on the following:

Developing fine motor (small muscles) skills – such as Playdough, stacking toys, or a screwdriver set
Developing gross motor (big muscles) skills – such as a balance board or Pikler triangle
Art and music – xylophone or bells, paper and crayons
Books – take a look at our Bookshop page for recommendations by age!
Open-ended toys for creative play – blocks, legos, or magnetiles

It’s also important to include toys that offer a varying degree of difficulty. You want a mix of challenging toys and things that are easy and familiar for your child to play with when they need a mental break. Studies suggest that battery operated toys that light up and make noises are designed to entertain and do not foster a child’s development of concentration. Open-ended toys that engage rather than entertain will encourage creativity and concentration in your child.

Include nature

If possible, choose a room with natural light. House plants offer children a chance to take care of something, as well as add natural beauty to the room. Young children also love watching fish or other pets and they can learn to help feed and care for them as well. You might also consider setting up an outdoor play area where your child can dig in the dirt, water plants, enjoy sand and water play, and do messy art projects.

Every item has its place

Children have a sensitive period for order from birth through age five, peaking in early toddlerhood. You can see this through young children’s love for routine and repetition. Montessori environments support this desire for order by designating a specific spot for each material. In a play area, instead of a big toy bin full of many things, each toy has a space where it belongs on a shelf. Toys with multiple pieces, like blocks or play animals, can be organized in small baskets or trays on the shelf. You can even attach photos to each bin or shelf so that the child knows exactly where each toy belongs.

Provide a simple and beautiful space

Montessori spaces use more neutral colors and have very little hanging on the walls. What is displayed on the walls is carefully chosen and hanging at the child’s eye level. When choosing decor, choose artwork that is simple and thought-provoking for the child. Framed art hung at the child’s level can offer a peaceful feel to the space. Natural materials such as wood or wicker also offer a warmth and sensorial experience for the child. The goal is to reduce the visual stimulation of the environment so that the child will be attracted to the materials and be able to concentrate on their play and development.

Give it a try!

This might seem like a lot to think about, but you can pick and choose what works for your child and your home. You can experiment over time to see what works best. One of the most important pieces of Montessori philosophy is to take time to step back and observe. What do you notice your child is drawn to? Are there any spaces in the room that they are not able to access on their own? Feel free to “break the rules” and try new things in your space!

Photographs by Jen Snyder

A Montessori Play Area

Greetings from Florida! For those of you who don’t know me, I was a Lower Elementary guide and then the Director of Admissions at Greenspring before moving to Florida. I began this series on Montessori in the Home to help parents find creative ways to implement Montessori practices at home. My daughter, Lila, just turned four. Her play space has evolved since she was an infant, but the guiding principles remain the same.

Setting up a Montessori-inspired play space at home does not require a great deal of time or expense. The goal is simply to create a space that encourages independence and concentration. Here are some key components to keep in mind:

Simplify: Montessori spaces use more neutral colors and have very little (or nothing) hanging on the walls. What is displayed on the walls is carefully chosen and hanging at the child’s eye level. The goal is to reduce the visual stimulation of the environment, so that the child will be attracted to the materials (toys) and be able to concentrate on her work (play).

A sample play space for a young toddler A sample play space for a six year old

Reduce: Consider reducing the number of toys available. You may use a small shelving unit with two or three shelves and just a few items on each shelf. Putting out just a few toys at once, and rotating them regularly, allows your child to focus on what’s available. Also, rotating toys will rekindle your child’s interest in older toys that they haven’t seen for a while. When a toy has remained on the shelf for a whole week untouched, you know it’s time to put it away and put out something different.

Organize: Children have a sensitive period for order from birth through age five, peaking in early toddlerhood. You can see this through young children’s love for routine and repetition. Young children are most comfortable when their physical environments are orderly. Montessori environments support this desire for order by designating a specific spot for each material. In a play area, instead of a big toy bins full of many unrelated things, each toy has a space where it belongs on a shelf. Toys with multiple pieces, like blocks or play animals, can be organized in small baskets or trays on the shelf. You can even attach photos to each bin or shelf so that the child knows exactly where each toy belongs.

Provide varied work spaces: The furniture in Montessori classrooms is child-sized and the materials are kept on low shelves so that the child can access them independently. If you have the space at home, it’s ideal to include a child-size table and chair(s), an open space allowing for movement and large floor work, and a cozy spot for resting or recovering from an upsetting moment.

Include nature: If possible, choose a room with natural light. House plants offer children a chance to take care of something, as well as adding natural beauty to the room. Young children also love watching fish or other pets and older children can help feed and care for them as well. You might also consider setting up an outdoor play area where your child can dig in the dirt, water plants, enjoy sand and water play, and do messy art projects.

Choose toys carefully: While there is no need to fill your home with “academic” work, you can select toys that help your child develop in different ways. You might think about including toys that develop fine motor (small muscles), gross motor (big muscles), art and music, books, and open-ended items (like blocks) for creative play. It’s also important to include toys that offer a varying degree of difficulty. You want a mix of challenging toys and things that are easy and familiar for her to play with when she needs a mental break. Open-ended toys that engage rather than entertain (such as those that light up or make noises) will encourage creativity and concentration.

Give it a try! This might seem like a lot to think about, but you can pick and choose what works for your child and your home. I feel free to “break the rules.” I still keep all of Lila’s stuffed animals in one large bin. And though most gifts made of plastic or requiring batteries “disappear” after a few days, a few favorites have been allowed to stay. And despite my best intentions, getting Lila interested in “clean up time” is still a constant struggle. So don’t be too hard on yourself. Just have fun with it!

*By the way, you don’t need to spend a lot of money on toys, especially for young children. These have been some of Lila’s favorites over the years:

Scooping jingle bells into a metal muffin tin, posting poker chips into a coffee can, and posting ping pong balls through a paper towel tube.

As a toddler, Lila enjoyed the sound that polished stones made when dropped into a glass bowl; later she enjoyed sorting them by size and color; now she is interested in rocks and minerals.

Lila keeps a collection of natural treasures; recyclable materials make wonderful art supplies. Now Lila stops me on the way to the recycling bin and says, “Wait, we can make art with that!”

I have also written about setting up a Montessori kitchen, Montessori bedroom and a Montessori bathroom. Questions, comments, suggestions? Email me at mjarrell@greenspringmontessori.org.

A Montessori Kitchen

Greetings from Florida! For those of you who don’t know me, I was a Lower Elementary guide and then the Director of Admissions at Greenspring before moving to Florida. I have begun this series on Montessori in the Home to help parents find creative ways to implement Montessori practices into day-to-day activities at home. My daughter, Lila, is now three and a half and loves to work in the kitchen!

Getting Involved

Lila has been an active participant in the kitchen since she was very small. Early activities included stirring batter, washing and scrubbing fruits and vegetables, peeling clementines and bananas, pouring coffee beans into the grinder, and dipping bread into eggs for french toast.

These activities help build the essential skills of coordination, concentration, order, and independence. The work also exposes the child to tasting new foods. Lila was always more interested in eating something that she helped to prepare.

As her fine motor coordination increased, Lila started shucking corn, rolling dough, peeling and slicing eggs and bananas with special tools, and peeling carrots and cucumbers with a peeler and wavy chopper. Now Lila is also slicing vegetables with an acrylic knife, grating cheese, and juicing oranges. Child-size gardening gloves allow Lila to stir soup and flip pancakes without fear of touching the hot pan.

Involving a toddler at dinner time when everyone is tired can be challenging. If I have a few extra minutes earlier in the day, I will prepare part of the meal while Lila is still at school. This will allow me to focus more energy on her participation during the meal preparation. Sometimes I plan our joint projects for the weekends when I have more energy.

There are other ways besides cooking that children can help. Setting the table, sweeping up crumbs, and placing dirty dishes in the dishwasher are other ways that little ones can contribute. Montessorians know that children’s self-esteem comes from making meaningful contributions, rather than receiving compliments. So allowing children to be active participants in the family is a tremendous gift!

Learning Tower
The single most important tool you will need to allow your child to participate in the kitchen is a safe stool. We put the “Learning Tower” on our baby gift registry before Lila was born. Three and a half years later, we are still using it every day. When Lila was very small, we wrapped the sides with saran wrap so she couldn’t fall out. Soon she was able to climb in and out independently. The adjustable height allows the stool to grow with her. And you don’t need to worry about her falling off a regular stool.

I have seen some great “hacks” on the internet for converting an Ikea stool into a learning tower, for a much lower cost. If you’re handy, this is definitely worth a try!

Eating Independently
As much as your child will enjoy helping prepare food, she will also be highly motivated to eat independently. When Lila was very small, she sat in a Bumbo or high chair. As soon as she was able to sit in a chair without falling off, we moved her to a toddler-size table and chair. (The table was bought from Ikea with the legs chopped to make it shorter.)

While she still sat in a high chair for family dinner at the dining table, all other meals and snacks were eaten at her special table. Soon, Lila began rejecting the high chair. That’s when we switched to a booster seat in a regular dining chair.

Montessori Services makes child-size glass dishes that are very sturdy. While I don’t like to replicate too many Montessori lessons in the home (as I like them to remain special at school and be presented by the experts!), I did invest in two small glass pitchers so that Lila could practice pouring. I have a full list of recommended supplies below.

In order to further increase independence, you can make child-size dishes, utensils, kitchen tools, and cleaning supplies available at the child’s level. This can be a special shelf or just a lower kitchen cabinet that you dedicate for your child’s kitchen items.

You might consider creating a water and snack station on a low shelf or table. By having water and healthy snacks available at all times, your child can help herself to food when she is hungry. You can also dedicate a low shelf of the refrigerator for your child’s use and keep liquids in smaller containers that are easy to pour.

Don’t feel like you need to tackle all of this at once. Try picking just one new system to implement in your home and see how it works!

I have also written about setting up a Montessori bedroom and a Montessori bathroom. Next I will tackle the play area! Questions, comments, suggestions? Email me at mjarrell@greenspringmontessori.org.

Resources:

There are many wonderful tools to help young children work safely in the kitchen.

Some of my favorite resources include:

Montessori Services (child-size tools)
How We Montessori (blog)

Some of my favorite products include:

Learning tower or sturdy stool
Child-size apron
Wavy chopper
Banana slicer
Apple slicer
Egg and mushroom slicer
Citrus juicer/grater
Nylon knife
Peeler
Non-skid cutting board
Non-skid mixing bowl
Spatula, mixing spoon, scrapers, whisk
Child-size rolling pin
Child-size oven mitts
Child-size pitcher, glasses, plates, and utensils
Spreaders
Dishwashing station
Non-toxic cleaning supplies

A Montessori Bathroom

Greetings from Florida! For those of you who don’t know me, I was a Lower Elementary guide at Greenspring and then the Director of Admissions before moving to Florida. My daughter, Lila, recently turned two and I would like to share a few thoughts on what it was like setting up a toddler-friendly bathroom.

Care of Self

As Montessori parents, our goal is to prepare the home environment for toddlers to be as independent as possible. The bathroom provides a wonderful opportunity to empower our toddlers and begin teaching them important life skills. Toddlers are innately motivated to take care of themselves, so they will be eager for these opportunities!

Giving Introductory Lessons

Children will need to be introduced to each process, broken down into simple steps. All of the needed materials must be easily accessible and in child-size containers. After introducing and modeling each skill, your toddler will need many opportunities to practice. Important skills to learn include:

*Washing hands

Provide a bottle of pump soap (my daughter loves the foaming kind) or a small bar of soap and a washcloth on the counter. You might consider using a faucet extender so your child can reach the water more easily. View a sample lesson here.

*Brushing teeth

Prepare a tray with the necessary supplies: toothbrush, toothpaste (which you may wish to portion out in individual containers at first rather than make the whole tube available), a timer, and a small water glass. View a sample lesson here.

*Brushing hair

Prepare a tray with a hairbrush and/or comb and place with (or near) a mirror. View a sample lesson here.

*Blowing the nose

Have a box of tissues accessible. If you worry about your toddler enjoying this activity a bit too much and using the whole box (see photo below), you can place a few folded tissues in a small basket. View a sample lesson here.

*Washing with a washcloth & Washing hair

Toddler-size bottles will allow your child to pour her own soap without emptying the entire supply. You can use a small plastic basket, tray, or suction cup caddy to store supplies. A suction cup mirror will allow your child to see herself while washing. (You may still need to assist with the rinsing.)

Necessary Items within Reach

Keep all necessary items within reach. If you have room in your bathroom, a shelf set up with supplies is ideal. Or you can empty the cupboard beneath your sink to store some of these items.

Beginning Toileting

This is a weighty topic for another day, but just a few suggestions:

Start changing your child’s diapers (standing up) in the bathroom whenever possible. Allow your child to help with her own diapering as much as possible.

When your child starts to show an interest in the toilet, encourage this interest. Allow your child time to sit on the toilet, practice flushing, and washing hands.

If you are comfortable with it, allow your child to watch you using the toilet and assist with flushing and washing hands.

Have a floor potty available as well and allow your child to sit on it (clothed or unclothed) whenever she shows an interest. Keeping the floor potty in the bathroom is ideal if you have room – this reinforces the idea that toileting takes place in the bathroom. Now that Lila is fully engaged in the toilet-learning process, we keep a basket of underwear and books near her potty.

Have a child-size toilet seat and step stool for the adult toilet so that this is also an option. You can allow your child to choose which she wants to use.

Supplies

These are some of the items I recommend. (These are linked to Amazon.com.)

Sink faucet extender & Tub faucet cover

Stepping Stools: Kidcraft or Soft Grip

Two-in-one toilet seat (or Toilet seat with ladder) and a Potty chair with a soft seat

Articles & Resources:

Montessori Now (blog): Montessori Activities for Self Care

Montessori Teacher Collective: Montessori lessons plans for care of self

Michael Olaf: 1-3 Years Care of Self

Montessori Services has every basket, tray, and child-size dish you could ever want!

———————————–

In my next blog entry, I will discuss setting up a child-friendly kitchen. To view my previous blog entry about setting up a Montessori bedroom, click here.

« Older Entries

Next Entries »