Family meetings provide a dedicated space for open communication, allowing family members to discuss issues, make decisions together, strengthen relationships, and build a sense of unity by sharing concerns, celebrating achievements, and setting expectations, all while fostering important life skills.
Benefits of Family Meetings
For children, family meetings promote:
- Critical thinking
- Active listening
- Brainstorming skills
- Problem solving
- Mutual respect
- A sense of belonging and significance
For parents, family meetings:
- Avoid power struggles
- Avoid micromanaging
- Invite children to share responsibility
- Allow you to model skills you want children to learn
Keep a notebook in a central area of the home, so issues that come up during the week can be recorded in real time and then used during the family meeting.
The family meeting is optional, but choosing not to participate means missing out on problem solving, offering suggestions for family outings, and receiving weekly allowance.
Family Meeting Agenda
- Give Acknowledgments
- Review Old Agreements
- Discuss New Issues
- Make New Agreements
- Review the Schedule
- Do Banking
- Create a Family Outing Plan
Give Acknowledgments
Each person acknowledges everyone else. Acknowledgments are different than thank-yous; they focus on something about the person’s character.
Review Old Agreements
Review last week’s agreements. How did these work? Any there any revisions needed? If so, write these down in the notebook.
Discuss New Issues
No judgement, no criticism. Everyone is on the same team, committed to finding solutions. Everyone contributes. (Parents, be careful not to brush off children’s solutions.)
Make New Agreements
What are the agreements we are going to make to support the solving of the issues? Write them in the notebook.
Review the Schedule
Discuss the schedule for the week. What activities are scheduled? Are there any special events? Resolve any logistics that need to be handled.
Do Banking
Allowance is distributed. Allowance is not tied to chores, but rather to participatioin in the family meeting. Any debts acrued over the past week are paid.
Create a Family Outing Plan
Brainstorm ideas for fun activities to do as a family.Everyone gets a voice.(Parents, establish parameters – how much time, how much money, etc.)
Tips for a Successful Family Meeting
When first starting this structure, introduce and practice just one step of the process each week. In less than two months time, your family will be ready to implement the full family meeting structure.
Encourage participation by creating a safe space where everyone can share their thoughts and feelings. Set guidelines for discussion, such as taking turns speaking without interruption.
Meet at a consistent time that works for your family; weekly or bimonthly is recommended.
Rotate responsibilities so everyone gets a turn to play the different roles. For young children, props can be used to designate each of the roles.
- Facilitator (talking stick)
- Recorder (notebook and pencil)
- Banker (coin purse or money jar)
- Time Keeper (stopwatch)
Would you like to give family meetings a try? Check out some of the resources below to help you get started!
Resources for Empowering and Partnering with your Child
Empowering and Partnering with your Child Through the Adolescent Years Powerpoint
Whether you have a five-year-old or a fifteen-year-old, you can find easy ways to create partnerships at home. During this webinar, you will learn steps to implement structures around family meetings, active listening, and allowances – all designed to support you and your child or adolescent in your partnership at home.
